Quell The Ego, Unleash The Spirit
It’s again one of those early morning revelations that take place immediately after a nice meditative entry point. I know that many people are experiencing a significant level of discomfort and even psychological disorientation during the pandemic, but I also know that it is a situation that is getting better and enabling humans in general to become elevated.
The irony is that while we do what we can to get out of suffering, removing suffering will not be the ultimate aim. In almost all my years of going through various ups and downs in life, I realize that in many cases not only can I not avoid situations that cause me suffering, the fact is that suffering itself is an educational process.
When seeking the truth, those who have been on this journey for some time or likely to be aware that the Ego wants to protect us and therefore goes into a variety of pretty nasty behaviors. For instance, look at the times whenever you get angry. I’m willing to bet that more often than not, the anger is not something you display because of a greater cause of humanity, but rather something that is more self-centered, isn’t it?In my opinion, I think a lot of people gravitate to communities because there is safety in numbers for that anger. It is a subtle message of justification to assure us that we’re not wrong.
However it is also clear to me that the truth is not screamed at the top of the universe’s lungs. Instead, it comes in soft whispers. The way we can understand our own true cells comes from a quieting down cut the inner noise that is constantly bubbling up. It is the quelling of the unnecessary chatter. It is a child-like tantrum in that part of our inner dialogue that requires a space for expression so it can grow up.
I’m not sure if this is a common experience for all, where phrases of wisdom get channeled through these meditative moments. This is why I end up posting phrases that come up through my moments of soft reflection.
What I do know is that not all suffering is voluntary, but all suffering is necessary. That might be a hard pill to swallow for most people, because they might be holding on to a belief, just like myself of the past, that suffering is not necessary.
I think you don’t have to burden yourself with suffering, but I think that suffering is not really a choice. I think it is a shaping mechanism by the universe that enables the best version of you. Most of us would try to suppress this shaping process by medicating and denial. I believe that we do that too much and lose connection with the voice. Instead, learn to calm yourself down in moments of angst, and allow those moments to be life’s teacher. Where you can, put yourself into challenging situations in order to test your limit. Where you find a limits, seek to stretch yourself by developing resourcefulness within.
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Stuart Tan is an organisational psychologist, executive coach, international speaker, and Licensed Master Trainer of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP). Since 1994, he has trained over 500,000 individuals and dozens of organisations across 11 countries including Singapore, Malaysia, Australia, China, the United Kingdom, and the United States.
He holds an MBA from Western Michigan University and an Executive Master of Science in Organisational Psychology and Human Resources from the City University of New York (CUNY). He was awarded membership to Beta Gamma Sigma — the highest accolade for business students worldwide — for outstanding academic performance in the top 10% of his cohort.
As the founder of Ultimate Alliance Consultancy Pte Ltd (UAC), Stuart leads the corporate division specialising in leadership development, team performance, and change management for multinational corporations, government agencies, and high-growth enterprises. Concurrently, as co-founder of Limit Breaker Global, he works with founders and entrepreneurs to diagnose and break through the 15 Founder Traps — the patterns that keep capable business owners stuck, burnt out, or plateaued despite effort.
Stuart is one of the few trainers worldwide licensed directly by NLP co-founder Dr. Richard Bandler to certify NLP Practitioners and Master Practitioners under the internationally recognised Society of NLP. He received his trainer's license in 1997, 2005, and 2017, and has also been trained by Robert Dilts of NLP University as an NLP Training Consultant. He is a Licensed NLP Coach Trainer, certifying NLP Coaches across Asia.
He is a qualified counsellor and trauma therapist, a member of the National Center for Crisis Management and the American Academy of Experts in Traumatic Stress. He received his postgraduate diploma from Temasek Polytechnic under the late Mr. Anthony Yeo, widely regarded as the father of counselling in Singapore. This foundation in therapeutic psychology informs his approach to leadership — helping leaders understand the emotional architecture beneath behaviour, not just surface-level communication techniques.