Category Archives: Self Help
So I am writing this because I know many people experience what it is like to be defeated. In fact, one of the reasons why I am familiar is not only because I coach people, but I often am defeated myself.
You see, my batting average in business deals me about 8 defeats for every 10 prospects I meet. It basically means I have very thick skin. The trouble isn’t the defeat, but it is the defeatist attitude that I want to challenge today.
“A: Do you procrastinate?
B: I’ll have to get back to you tomorrow about that…”
We live in a world that demands much out of us. Every single day, there are things that are expected of us, that we have to deliver. Things such as work, expectations from family, and even things that we privately want to do but seem to have limited time resources to reach there. As a result, inner stress builds up, and it turns into us stepping into the dark side of our personality. Procrastination becomes a kind of solace.
You can’t prove anything about your mindset if you’re not going through something tough.
You need to establish your direction clearly FIRST before you drive yourself to take massive action, or else you’re going to be barking up the wrong tree.
You have to be like the Hunter that begins early in the morning with clear intention and fervour, knowing that his children will starve if he does not do his job.
You cannot afford the luxury of a negative thought. It will consume you and eat you up inside. It will leave you no space for getting the life you want.
As an entrepreneur, I understand the worries people have in stepping into a world where there is no routine, there is not certainty, and there is not safety net for you to fall on. Most are concerned about how sure you can be when being an entrepreneur, and how clear one can be when being in a position to call the shots, even when the target board may not even be clear to shoot at.
If I were to start all over, I would have 3 key things to consider. And actually, I restarted in business just 4 years ago, after I had left my previous education business, so I had better pen these down while they are still fresh in my mind.
In my journey in training, I encounter many different points of view. One key thing I teach is the power of your mind, and how you have a choice to make. Instead of experiencing negativity, you have to learn to experience a positive mindset, which leads to generally better results in whatever you do.
However, skepticism is the war I have to fight almost every single session. Here are some common comments:
- Positive thinking is unrealistic.
- This is brainwashing.
- Nobody became successful just by “thinking” it.
- If was so simple, everyone would be able to do it.
When you’ve just graduated and left the world of studying behind, you’re now introduced to the real world of learning. The next 10 – 15 years will determine how stable your life will be, and how much you will grow. And rather than “going with your gut” and trying something, I’d suggest strongly the following 5 things.
You’ve probably read the research that Malcolm Gladwell, in his book Outliers suggests: it takes 10,000 hours to build world-class expertise. It so happens that while everyone is clamoring to develop expertise, they forget how much time they spend on the unconscious expertise they build.
Every day, when you wake up, the automatic thought patterns that fill your mind control your will, literally. You claim to have absolute control over your thoughts and emotions, but you start arguing about the simplest things (yes, we never argue with our colleagues or family about global warming or world peace… it’s about the misplaced shirt or file); but you have to remember… 10,000 hours is cumulative. In other words, you may have unconsciously established expertise in being negative, being a procrastinator, being a skeptic, being argumentative, being intolerant, being aggressive.
This is my first post about MMA (mixed-martial arts) and performance, and probably only because it got triggered by an amazing fight on Sunday.
Most of you may know me as an NLP guy, or the leadership guy, or the communication guy. Sure, I do all that stuff… and on weekends whenever UFC is Live on Fox, I’m watching and lapping it up. My 9-month old chihuahua, unfortunately, often interrupts the proceedings due to her desire for unconditional affection. So, between belly rubs and the occasional advertisement, I’m glued to the TV screen.
MAKING A DIFFERENCE
Once upon a time, I had met a young man, who was, originally from China, who attended one of my seminars. He claimed to want to achieve success, but seemed adamant that everything he did was right, and to be honest, he wasn’t really participating in the course much. He claimed he knew a lot and had attended many such seminars before.
One of the days, we were participating in an activity that was meant to help us reflect on our decisions in life. Surprisingly, this man, who himself said he wanted to succeed, was not even participating seriously in the activity. In fact, he was even distracting other participants.
It’s amazing how much I can learn from my clients and people I meet with. The strangely familiar struggle with work is an ongoing theme in many of their lives, and the whole idea of ‘work-life balance’ is nothing but a myth. I think I know the reason why. Work-life balance is about our ability to switch from one mode to another. It’s about balancing almost anything. For instance, when I run personality profiles for people, they realize that they really need personal development because their profile report reveals more about where their blind spots are.